January 22nd

by winteryder

It’s important that you know this, today:

 

I’ve broken contracts and promises in order to keep a covenant with myself

Learned that to truly know what I believe in-

I had to lose faith altogether.

 

I’ve fought battles that no human should ever have to fight

And sustained all the wounds and scars that come with it.

I’ve known the silence born of years of violence in my own home

And I’ve chosen to excavate words, to write, to speak, to UnSilence

 

In all of this, I lost a piece of my soul. I traded my own life out of necessity, I bartered my own happiness and fulfillment for safety and ‘security’. In that dark cocoon, in that sticky and awful mess, butterfly wings were being forged. It took decades.

Last night, someone I love very much sent me the most beautiful words. They were at once an invitation, a reminder, a reflecting pool for all that is truly me. In that precious moment, I was both understood and known. The ripple effect of this kind of connection, communication is profoundly restorative, sacred, beautiful.

I’ve chosen to live life as an open invitation, giving, receiving, sharing joy and sorrow and valuing both equally. Today, and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow… there is a profound joy and immeasurable happiness, infinite love – like a butterfly that rests on an open hand.

 

All these things

that come and go-

are handled best by hope

that through Storm and Stillness

somehow,

the better spirit leads;

and from this, though we cannot know-

there is deposit for good.

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